68/365

From my journal:

Every morning I’ve been waking after dawn, the sheets sliding around my body as I get up repeatedly to turn off the alarm. It’s like only in those half-sleep moments can I find my body without faults. I wish  I could hold onto that feeing, but it fades as I wake. It’s replaced with all my little insecurities, all the people I’ll see that day and without thought compare myself to. All the times I’ll sit down and my jeans will dig into my belly. It’s replaced with those black pants that no longer fit. I’m not doing P90X to look perfect. Maybe I’m doing it to try to keep that feeling. The feeling that this body of mine has no faults. Because after every workout, for a moment I just want to say to everyone, ‘Look! Look what I just did!’ Today it was 20 push ups. It’s not perfection but its the sensation of fully inhabiting your body.

August 20, 2012

And I’m doing it for rock solid Abs, of course 😉