My mind rambles

by brittanychavez

Do you ever have that feeling where you just know something is wrong. Something is off in your tummy, you feel bad for a reason, you know that you’re sad, you’re supposed to be sad. But you can’t remember why. You think maybe it’s not important because, obviously, you can’t remember. And then you realize what you forgot. And your stomach shrinks. And you are still sad. And you deflate. There is no avoiding it. You just have to wait until you forget again.

I lost one follower. I don’t know why this matters to me? Someone deleted their blog? Someone realized I don’t post that many things, this isn’t that riveting, this is just for me. I don’t know why these things matter to me.

I want to start a 365 days of writing project. Not necessarily eloquent writing. Anything. Maybe it’s one sentence or one word or one paragraph. Maybe it’s just something about what I ate for breakfast. I want to remember things. I have a bad memory. That’s why I photograph things, and why I write things.

So here is something from today:

I am in the passengers seat of Steele’s car. We are driving home after having a few beers at a friends house. I am warm and I am a small little piece of a group. We come up over a hill and there is a blanket of fog on everything. Only the street lamps show through. And I feel full. I can sing out loud, I can watch the lights pass, I can kiss Steele twice on the mouth and slip into bed at 12:54 in the morning.