Day 27, This month, in great detail

by brittanychavez

Actually several things have happened within the last month.

1. Cornie and Taylor came to visit, which made me ready to go home and see my friends (what few I have) again.
2. I’ve been noticing how long my hair has gotten. (I know this seems trivial to all of you, by goddamn has it been short for ages. Now it is long enough for me to put in my mouth which is a REALLY bad habit I’ve aquired.)
3. Crrr got me a journal for graduation. I wrote in in twice, then didn’t, but I finally picked it up again at the end of March. This is good because it proves that I am a real person and not just a profile on the internet. This is bad because it makes me realize how totally confused I am about my emotions 90% of the time.
4. A lot of emotional stuff has been going on that I am not comfortable posting to a blog, even one nobody reads.

Anyways. I figured you faceless nameless readers might be tired of the way I was going about these “in detail” posts. So I’ve decided to try a new method, for your sake. (Or just for mine, it’s quite cumbersome to type all that out.) It’s called…. a good ol’ fashioned list.

April 2010:

April 1: The Ceremics club holds a lemonade sale, in which they sale lemonade in hand made ceremic cups. Steele and I bought 5. HAHAHA, we don’t even need to buy dishes for next year.
April 3: My Modernism paper starts showing up in my to-do lists. (You know that I obviously ignore this.)
April 4: I write in my journal: In a year today won’t mean anything, despite everything that I’m worrying about.
April 7: The day before my crit for my Photo portrait series. I am frantically printing all day long, and I feel like it is the project in which I have produced my worst work.
April 8: For drawing, I make a small symbol drawing, which is about Steele and I. On it I put tally marks for how many days we’ve been together. 846 days, as of April 8.
April 10: I start to feel restless for summer. I write in my journal: There’s so much stuff I want to DO. Ugh, it’s unbearable how much time I spend thinking about these things and not doing them.
April 14: I meet with Mark (my photo teacher) about what work I should submit for a scholarship. Afterwards, I go shoot film for my new project, a landscape project for which I am shooting parking lots.
April 15: I write in my journal: Everytime I have a dream it feels so familiar. Like I’ve had it before a million times. But I have no way of knowing.
April 17: I drop off the photos for the scholarship. I write in my journal: I try to capture what I see or imagine but maybe what I see just ins’t as beautiful as what other people do.
April 20: I make the ink video, and mail four letters. (Two of them are free prints, so I’m not sure they count as letters though.) I write in my journal: I feel so passionless. I can’t wait for summer.
April 23: I turn my Modernism paper in.
April 26: I write in my journal: Why am I always second guessing myself?
April 27: I take a self portrait I rather like. (My hair looks long.) I finish a book. I hate my design class. I miss by best friend. I feel confused. I want the school year to end.

And now I am here, writing this blog, listening to ‘Star Mile’ by Joshua Radin. I have to number my edition of prints still, for the exchange. I will be at work for another hour, then I will tumble into bed and sleep until 7:30, or 7:40, or 7:50.