I’ll start with April, 2009.
I’m in my second to last month of High School. I take this photograph, which to this day stubbornly refuses to drop out of Flickr’s Explore pages, much to my surprise. This month is filled with things I will theoretically remember for the rest of my life: prom, finishing my A.P. Photography portfolio. I walk the halls with great confidence, finally feeling comfortable enough to actually socialize with people, unlike the previous three years.
More important stuff happening, like graduation, for instance. I have that cliche ‘I can do anything’ feeling. But I am also kind of sad because I’m finally leaving high school at a time when I actually like it. I don’t actually think that I will really see any of these people again, and that makes everything bitter sweet.
I finish my 365 Day Project, which makes me feel more accomplished than graduating high school. I get a job at a newspaper, answering phones and typing up classified ads. I take great pleasure in driving home with the windows rolled down and “Never There” playing on repeat in my car.
I turn 18 on July 30. Steele house-sits for a family with a very nice house, in which this picture was taken. I start my ’25 Possibilities’ project, which I am convinced will be finished before the end of the summer but actually takes me until March.
I take a short trip to the Sand Dunes with Crrr and Cornie. I pack up all my belongings and drive with Steele, to Oregon. To Portland. To College. The drive takes us two days. We arrive on the hottest day of the summer.
I find that routine is easy to find anywhere. Steele and I have an incredibly comfortable bed, which makes it hard to get up before 11. My classes start, and when Steele and I talk about potential friends I say “There’s Molly.. from Maryland” and he says “That girl Ali seems cool, but she’s really quiet.”
I go to a party with Steele at a boy named Matts house. I have my first photo critique on a project titled “The City” which I like to call ‘Quiet Moments’ Steele turns 19 and I bake him a cake and send him on a scavenger hunt, to find a Nixon watch. (A very mature birthday present, if I don’t say so myself.)
I take a photograph which I will cherish forever. I come up with a concept for my final photo project, for which I need a model. While casually talking about it with Molly in drawing, Ali offers herself up. Thus, we are friends. Steele and I go to her house for Thanksgiving, and have a grand time.
The 14th is Steele and I’s two year anniversary. I take my favorite photo of him that I’ve ever taken. After finals, which pass without too much trouble (though I do have my first in-the-studio-till-close night) we fly back to Colorado for winter break.
Being home is not right and not wrong. It feels somehow like going backwards, but it’s still good to see everyone. I spend more time with Crrr than anyone, which is nice, so nice. We go ice-skating. I love her. When Steele and I get back to Portland, I start the Ensnare series. Something which has been causing angst ever since.
I start to work with a 4×5 camera in photo. I am photographing, for my still life project, old letters and journals. I feel nostalgic. I start working at the front desk on Mondays and Tuesdays until 11:30, which guarantees I will be exhausted for at least half of every week.
I realize that I only have 5 GB left of my hard drive. Very bad news considering the fact that I upload a couple hundred photos to my computer every day. I finish my 25 Possibilities. I buy a pair of floral rain boots. I begin to feel uneasy about the future.
I finish the Ensnare series. I take a short break from Flickr. I start this 30 Day Project, with the idea that it will make the month of April go by faster, getting me to May, getting me to a single week of school remaining. I start a film diary in which I write things down, photograph them, and throw them away. I feel uneasy, uneasy, and restless. I spend more time with Ali. I worry about the summer. I wait anxiously for the summer. Steele and I plan a small road trip. I frantically try to finish all my school work. I miss Crrr. Today while uploading photos, a message popped up “Disk Space Full” I have been deleting things since March.